Friday, January 04, 2008 Friday, January 04, 2008
the last day of my 3 weeks holiday. well, if you don't include the weekends. monday's the start of the last 4 weeks of sem 2. the last 4 weeks of being a year 1. time flies damn fast, don't you think? year 2's gonna be a helluva year for me.
Professional Profiling (PP), soccer and hopefully, retaking my e math. i was kinda stupid not have taken it when i could the last time. *scolding/cursing myself* i just have this fear that i'm not able to cope. PP and all. i guess that it's just another challenge in my life. checked out SEAB and yea, it's gonna be a new syllabus. no more loci, sadly but there's matrices. dang. other than that, i guess it's still the same. if anyone of you know of any awesome tuition teacher, inform me. i so can't do this on my own, which i predict that mum would want me too. i just don't want history to repeat itself again. mum told me to revise on my own, without going for tuition. it didn't worked. told her that i need one 'cause i don't trust myself like $%^&. so yea.. ok, now i'm regretting. *wonderful, Farhana.. just great* maybe this period is the moment where i can be that tough person that i always wanted to be. being stress or not with school work, i better not let it affect my personal life. i might even think that i wouldn't have the time for soccer. *sigh* i told you my year 2's gonna be hell for me. so 1st priority: do well and get over and done with e math, followed by PP and soccer. sorry, had to put that last.
man, i hope that i have the time to hang out with my friends and boyfriend. it seems like i'm gonna be one busy lady. wish me luck, guys.
alright, 'nough about that. let's come back to the present. it's one mundane day today. i was supposed to have soccer training but it got cancelled, saying that it would resume as per normal when school reopens. so there goes, my plan. hence, i'm stuck at home while i have this urge to go out and slack. all i do at home is either do housechores, watch the telly, surf the net or sleep (which i don't want to).
i have this problem. i can't go out of the house that often. it's like my parents, specifically my mum, has this fit if i do. from my point of view, it's like she's afraid that i'll do something unsensible outside and ruin my family's name just 'cause some of my relatives did. well, i know why she's like that 'cause she cares, you know, worry=care. anyway, it's like i have to lie to my mum whenever i wanna go out 'cause i'm afraid that i won't be able to hang out with my homies. i feel outdated and left out whenever i miss an outing with my friends. maybe my mum just don't know that i treat my friends as if they're part of my family. they kinda made me who i am now. i think my friends know me more rather than my family or maybe even me. let's just say that i had the harshest childhood. you don't wanna know what i've gone through.
i feel like going out tomorrow. Mel and makkals are going for a swim at Jalan Besar. i don't even know if i'm able to join in. gah! i have this eagerness to just tell them that i'm
18 19 already and im old enough to know what's wrong and right. *sigh* my life suck big time.
i'm off. don't wanna talk about it anymore. later.
